HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY, YOU SHEEP!
If ever there was a day to celebrate being completely worthless and shallow, Valentine’s Day is it. Anyone who exhibits materialism, shallowness, vanity, or just plain stupidity creams themself over this day.
Valentines Day is a day to celebrate the commercialization of the most overhyped emotion of all; love. Love does not exist, literally. I’m not talking in a whiny emo sense, wherein I propose that love is for everyone but me. There is no such thing as love. It’s nothing more than a series of chemicals mixing in your brain, firing off synapses, and urging you to copulate.
This monstrosity of a day is championed by it’s mascot, a flying dwarf with a bow and arrow. What the heck? So I don’t actually have control over who I “fall in love with”, it’s up to some demented winged midget with a crossbow? Following that train of logic, love and rape are two sides of the same coin. They’re both urges that people get, and apparently have little control over. I wonder what the Rape Fairy looks like?
If Cupid is the mascot, then jewelry is the… I don’t know. I’m out of analogies. Jewelry is complete trash, though. It’s as much a testament to commercialism as five dollar Hallmark cards and singing teddybears. It holds no more significance, other than being obscenely expensive. By giving more credence to jewelry as a gift than cards, you’re saying that the only thing that matters is how much the gift cost. I’ve got news for you, ladies. Not only are diamonds fucking tiny, not only are they not even that rare, but it's just a rock!
A diamond necklace is nothing more than an IOU for oral sex. Women don’t feel so dirty ingesting a load of semen, if they’re getting something expensive for it. You hear that? If you’ve ever reciprocated a gift with sex, you’re literally a whore. You might as well be standing on the corner in fishnets.
“Flowers are the sex organs of plants. What’s so romantic about castrating a bunch of plants?” Mission Hill nailed it. Flowers are to gifts as rape is to sex. An utter travesty. Complete garbage. The hell with flowers.
Hearts, glitter, love, flowers, jewelry, and cupid can all go to hell.