Behold, mankind’s testament to overpriced junk, shallow people, and absolutely nothing! The mall is a block-long, three story beacon to idiots everywhere. If this were a comic book, the mall would be the Bat Signal for retards. If this was a hospital, the mall would be the big freakin' magnets they use in the MRI, attracting douchebags from all over in droves.
There is nothing the mall does that couldn’t be accomplished elsewhere, with less hassle. The mall does not sell anything that you couldn’t buy elsewhere, and if you need THAT many choices for lunch that you need a food court, go on a diet, or stop being such an indecisive idiot.
I hate the mall, enough that simply stepping foot inside starts me down the road to an apoplectic fit of rage. I hate the people that populate it, and I hate the overpriced junk they sell it in. I hate the smell, and I hate the food court. I hate the music coming out of lame-ass trendy clothing stores selling thongs for preteens, and I hate anyone who works in the mall, and doesn’t try to burn it down.
Every time I’m forced to go to the mall, it’s full of useless people buying useless things, for way too much money. That’s the only reason it exists; if you weren’t so dead set on buying more junk to fill your house, there would be no reason for the mall. The only people who would populate it would be the stupid Junior High skanks who cruise the mall and don’t buy anything anyway.
If you really can’t think of something better to do in your free time than hit the mall, I have some suggestions for you. First, castrate yourself. Secondly, do ANYTHING else, and it’ll be a better use of your time than going to the mall. Walk your dog. Scream at old people. Steal candy from a child. Anything!
Forget Africa, forget the Middle East; people are starving right here, in your town or city. Stop buying so much useless junk, and give the money you were going to spend on an electric toothbrush that plays Kiss songs to someone who might spend it on food. You’ll find that you feel like less of a piece of garbage if you do this, but don’t worry, the feeling will pass. You’ll always be a piece of garbage to me.