The Superbowl is to sports entertainment as man-on-man anal rape is to sex. Technically the Superbowl is sports, and it entertains millions of mouth-breathing idiots, like rape is still technically sex, and entertains masochists.
The Superbowl is not about really sports. Sure, people are throwing a ball around, and running, but most of the action is men in tight pants groping each other. It's like an outdoor version of the WWE. It's not so much that there are homoerotic overtones; it's more like there's a penis slapping you in the face, and pushing it's way down your throat. Each and every person who watched the Superbowl was sucking on the penis of sports commercialism.
Like anal rape, there are people who will always love the Superbowl, no matter how terrible it is. They're the jerks dressed in team colours, with facepaint on, getting kicked out their kid's sports game for picking fights. These are the mouthbreathing neanderthal idiots that can't even shut up for an hour to avoid embarrassing their kid. Oh sure Jethro, your kid's going to get beat up tomorrow because you ruined his game. Forget that, though; you showed that referee who's boss! Idiots.
Even if the Superbowl had something to do with sports, it would be eclipsed by the commercialism that plagues big league sports like a bad case of AIDS. Half the people watching the Superbowl only watch it for the half-time show. People are starving and getting gang raped in Africa, but the hell with them! We need Pamela Anderson shaking her tits on the back of a unicorn while Jay Z and Rosie O'Donell mangle the national anthem on a stage built of the dried tears of orphans!
If it's not the half-time show, it's the commercials. How messed up is that? People watch the Superbowl just to see the commercials. The Superbowl is supposed to be the main draw, with the commercials as annoying breaks. What the hell is wrong with you people? Commercials are intrustive, annoying, and completely unecessary. Who cares how clever that Budwieser commercial was? They still payed way too much to run it, and you're an idiot for liking it!